Riparian
by sandoichi-san
Summary: Thrown into a strange new world that they don't understand, Edward and his son must find a way back home. How will the Wizarding World react to these odd Elrics? FMA/HP Ed/Win
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is my new story and assuming that you read the summary and were also in the crossover section archive then you know that this is a FMA/HP crossover fic. Hmm…what else should I make note of- ah yes! The FMA shall be mangaverse and the HP is bookverse. This story is Ed/Win because I like that pairing and it is also canon- YAY CANON! However you won't really see much of it, so if you don't like it you could probably pretend that Ed is involved with someone of your choosing and it wouldn't make much difference. In fact there will not be much romance on the whole, beyond mentions of pairings and whatnot, so yaoiphobic have no fear because you will not find that here! Not that you would anyway, as all of the pairings are canon. The HP part will be taking place in the fifth book, which appears to be a requirement for writing an FMA/HP crossover. Also this does not strictly follow canon either, as it made me sad to think that Ed would not have alchemy, so endings have been changed to suit my needs. Alright, now that I've made the few who actually read this rambling paragraph regret clicking this, it's time for the story!**

**DISCLAIMER: Okay, I lied it's actually time for a disclaimer. Anything that you recognize from FMA and HP I do not own. Now it really is time to read, I swear.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Humble Beginnings<strong>

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><p>Our story begins within the confines of the rolling green hills of Resembool, Amestris. Located on the far east side of the aforementioned circular nation, Resembool is a sleepy little village, made up of hard-working farmers and their merry pink-cheeked wives. Their main export is wool; a fact that they show off proudly every year at the annual Sheep Festival in the spring and the only sounds that ever broke through the lush verdant fields was the baaing of sheep and echoes of children's laughter.<p>

However, this little town had been gaining in notoriety over the past decade and attracted more and more visitors all of the time. You see there were rumors that this backwoods village housed the one and only "Hero of the People"; Edward Elric, a.k.a the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Of course all of that was in the past. The former Major was just that; former. He had retired directly after completing the task that he was most famous for. From there, he and his younger brother, Alphonse Elric, had returned to that tiny town nestled safe in the mountains and there had not been much news of them since beyond the occasional rumors of the younger brother being abroad in Xing.

Fifteen years had passed in that time, and the lack of news regarding their country's great hero had only fueled the citizen's curiosity about the boy- no, man, he was nearly thirty now, wasn't he?

It was only natural that many young men and women, growing up with the tales of the great Elric Brothers would often find themselves at the Elric's weather-beaten front door begging to be taken on as an apprentice. It was also natural that not a one of them had been accepted. Those that were lucky would merely have said door slammed in their face, the more persistent ones found themselves being chased from the property by a series of spikes erupting from the ground around their feet.

Edward Elric did not much care for his growing legend, nor did he enjoy the frequent requests that he become a teacher, and the even more hated requests to view his automail. His wife Winry, who was also his mechanic, was one of a very small number of people who would be obliged in that department. Little did these fans know, if they had looked through the thick glass windows of the Elric's master bedroom at this very moment, they would have gotten a perfect view of the man's legendary steel limbs.

Uncovered and glinting in the mid-morning sun streaming through the half-open windows, the metallic arm was one of the few things that could be seen of the man huddled beneath the floral patterned covers. Long, golden-blonde hair fanned out over the pillows, with a good portion of it covering his face. Sleeping as soundly as the dead, there had been no movement from the form for hours, in fact, if not for the rise and fall of the blankets and sound of soft breathing it would have been difficult to tell the difference.

At long last, breaking his streak of inactivity there was movement. Poking out through the curtain of hair, the tip of his nose was twitching. With a suddenness that would have been startling had anyone actually been in the room to see it, the man sat up. His large golden eyes were glazed over as he mumbled softly to himself, "_Bacon_…"

He promptly sprung from the bed in an explosion of covers and groaning bed springs and out into the dimly lit hall. Following his nose with the accuracy of a bloodhound, Elric found himself standing behind the long-blond haired maiden that was his wife, Winry. The woman was flipping the half-cooked strips of meat in a black iron skillet and she sighed as she sensed her husband's presence. He knew she hated it when he did this, but he couldn't help but want to rile her up.

He also knew that she had been up all night crafting automail for a man who had lost both legs in a railroad related accident and she was dead on her feet. In fact, she was still dressed in her work apron; wrenches and screwdrivers peeking out of the pockets. She had still not been to bed yet but she was still willing to make breakfast for the children…his wife was an absolute saint.

Winry flipped her platinum blonde tresses over her shoulder, without a care as to the hazards of long hair in close-range of hot stovetops, and turned her narrowed blue gaze on her husband snapping, "Edward, standing over my shoulder and watching me cook will not make it ready any faster- go sit down!"

Ed did as he was requested but not without a certain amount of grumbling. "Can't a man appreciate his wife's cooking anymore? Don't know why you have to be such a bitch…" he grouched under his breath.

He heard a snigger coming from across the table and met eyes with his eldest, Eli. The boy's shaggy hair, as golden as his father's, hung in his face as the eleven year-old choked down his laughter. The older he got, the more the kid seemed to enjoy watching his mother exercise her control over his willful father. Unfortunately for him, this led to actual choking (on air) and he made a huge racket as he coughed and sputtered.

"Oh shut up, Ewe, you're so noisy!" scolded the youngest Elric, Amanda. Her platinum blonde pigtails whipping to the side as she turned to face her brother in wait of the reaction. She smirked victoriously at the sight of Eli's face growing even redder, this time with rage, as he fought for air to scream with.

Ed rolled his eyes; his eight year-old daughter had been spending far too much time around that bastard Mustang, or as he liked them to call him, "Uncle Roy". The man was now entering his fifties and had been fuhrer for nearly a decade now, but to Ed he would always be Colonel Bastard.

Finally managing to get enough air to formulate words, Eli yelled "DON'T-_cough_-CALL ME THAT!" While Eli was normally a fairly even-tempered boy, there was one word that would set the child off every time without fail; ewe. A mere mention of the word was enough to set the boy into a frenzy, much to the amusement of those around him.

Ed blamed Winry for this; why on earth she had thought that naming their son Elias Wilhelm Elric was a good idea he'd never know. It had not taken long in the sheep-filled town of Resembool for the people to notice that the boy's initials spelt out "ewe". Adults and children alike found great joy in making sheep jokes at the poor boy, who would respond with such a violent reaction that it only further encouraged them to do it again.

By the time Eli's breathing had returned to normal, Winry had set breakfast on the table with a clang, before announcing that she was too tired to eat and that she was going to bed.

As the door to the bedroom slammed closed, the three remaining Elrics dug in with gusto, and it was not long before the plates had been completely cleared of their contents. Patting his belly, Ed leant back into a stretch and wondered what kind of trouble Al was getting into at the moment. Unlike his younger brother, as the years wore on he had been having less adventures and more time at home helping raise his family.

He had no one to blame but himself for that one, it had been his decision to stay at home when the offers had come and tantalizing tales of knowledge, fortune, and danger had reached his ears. As much as he yearned for the thrill of the fight and the rush one got from solving the unsolvable, he was determined to be there for his kids.

He would not do as Hohenheim had done, leaving his family alone to fend for themselves while he went about curing the world's problems, lost in angst over being a self-proclaimed 'monster'.

Ed had by-and-large forgiven his father for his misdeeds, knowing that Hohenheim had had good intentions and that he had truly loved him and Alphonse, as well as their mother. But couldn't the man have dropped in from time to time, checking on them to see if they were alright? Prove to his children that he did indeed care what happened to them and made their world that little bit less lonely?

Ed knew without a doubt, had his father been around more, he and Al would have not been as tempted to commit the taboo. Never would they have had to go through so much pain and put themselves and everyone they knew in so much danger…

He shook himself from his gloomy thoughts, that was all in the past now, after all. There was no use in worrying about it, his father had been long dead and Ed had done everything he could to give _his_ children what his father had not.

For one, he had taught his children how to fight just as Teacher had taught him and Al. No way were his kids going to grow up not knowing how to defend themselves from the dangers of the world; he taught them hand-to-hand, how to dodge, and basic weaponry. The kids were naturals, a fact that Ed took great pride in. It also helped him keep himself in shape. He always worried that whenever Al came back from his amazing journeys that he would want to spar and Ed would be flabby. To keep that from happening and to make sure the children were getting their lessons, Ed and his kids could often be found sparring in the backyard.

He had also taken the time to pass on to them his considerable knowledge of alchemy. Amanda had nurtured a love and skill for alchemy just as he and Alphonse had in their youth, the golden orbs of her Xerxesian ancestors filled with excitement at each new success. But Eli, in sharp contrast to his sister, had never really taken to the subject. He could do a few very basic transmutations but nothing too impressive.

Around the time it became clear that alchemy was not Eli's hobby of choice, Winry had taken him under her wing, hoping that she would find a helper and fellow automail enthusiast. To Winry's disappointment this was not to be and after several nights of gazing into her son's glazed over eyes as she explained the intricacies of the artificial limbs she gave it up.

Lost in his own thoughts, Ed's wandering mind was swiftly brought back to Earth by a sharp snap in front of his face. In his haste to escape the flames he knew were soon to engulf him, he transmuted the table into a make-shift wall, sending plates and half-filled glasses of orange juice (there would be no milk on Edward Elric's table!) crashing to the floor. This evoked a scream out of Amanda and hurried apologies from Eli, the actual source of the snapping; he had forgotten his father's sensitivity to the distinctive sound.

The noise had been loud enough to wake the angry bear, that is Winry, and she ran out to investigate, still mussed from sleep. Ed found himself glad that he had the safety of his table-wall to protect him from the onslaught of Winry's sleep-deprived fury. After a minute of screeching that encompassed Ed's bad parenting to the children's inability to be quiet for even an hour, the three blondes were thrown out the front door and told at wrench-point to not return until dinner-time.

Ed grumbled to himself as he looked down at his own appearance. "You could have at least given me the time to change out of my pajamas…"

He sighed and alchemically modified his clothing to look a bit more presentable. He only succeeded in making them look a bit like fitness clothing, but at least they were no longer a wife-beater and boxers. Tying his hair back into a long ponytail, he turned to his children.

Amanda was carving an array into the dirt with a stick, while Eli was attempting to walk on his hands. Resisting the urge to facepalm, Ed cleared his throat. "Looks like we won't be going back inside for a while, why don't we get in some practice, hmm?"

He got his answer, when Eli sprang from his handstand into a flying kick aimed directly at Ed's head. Amanda pressed the tips of her small fingers to the array she had been working and a long staff emerged; apparently she had known that a sparring lesson was imminent. She charged into the fray, joining her brother in his attempts to beat their father into submission. Neither of them had ever won against him, but who knew? Perhaps today was the day. They carried on like this for a few hours, taking breaks occasionally when they got too tired.

Eventually they had had enough and they wandered down to the stream to cool off by the water. Throwing off their socks and shoes, they flopped down at the edge and let the rushing water wash over their aching feet. The afternoon sun bathed them in golden light and the tall grass rustled in the gentle breeze.

The three blondes had lapsed into silence as they enjoyed the summer scene. The quiet was later broken by Amanda.

"Hey Dad, what's this?" she asked. Without his notice, his daughter had waded further into the stream. She was pointing at something in the water. "It almost looks like…" she trailed off her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

The eldest Elric splashed over to where she was and following her finger, he spotted what appeared to be a fiery red stone nestled amongst the rocks. "A Philosopher's Stone…" he breathed.

Eli had come over as well, and with a soft noise of wonder, he reached in and grabbed it. He held it out in his palm, where it sparkled in the sunlight. The Elrics gathered round and gazed in awe at the bright, translucent stone.

Ed could already see that it was different from any of the Philosopher's Stones that he had seen. In fact the color was a bit off; it was more of a orange-red than the ruby normally associated with the legendary stone.

Reaching out to take the gem, Ed thought aloud "Maybe we should take this home and-" he suddenly cut off as the stone flashed a pure blinding white, the likes of which he had not seen since the Gate. His first instinct was to drop it, but he found he could not let go, and he saw his son was facing a similar problem.

"Dad, what's happening?" Eli cried out, terror written all over his face. The light was snaking up their arms now and Amanda rushed forward as if to knock it from their hands.

"NO! AMANDA STOP, DON'T TOUCH IT!" Edward screamed his eyes wide with panic, he and Eli were already trapped, they didn't need to get Amanda sucked in too. The girl stopped short, unsure of what exactly she could do to stop the events unfolding in front of her. "Don't move! I'm getting help!" she cried as she turned heel and bolted. As she faded from sight, her platinum blonde pigtails flying out behind, the two Elric men were lost to the blank whiteness.

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><p><strong>AN: So whatcha think? Let me know your thoughts, good bad and ugly. The only way I can improve, or even know that someone cares enough for me to continue posting, is with feedback. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Alright, here is the second chapter! I have to thank all of the reviewers, you don't know how thrilled I was to read them and how important they are to me. They were also very thorough reviews instead of something like "great story! write more :)" which, while nice, isn't all that helpful. So all of you guys are awesome.**

**I also thought that I would respond to a few of them. howlingwindofthestorm, I understand the wish that all of Ed's kids be awesome at alchemy, but I think of it as being something one becomes good at with a lot of practice, not something you are born naturally good or bad at. To me, Eli just doesn't have the same kind of interest that his father and uncle have for the subject. Just like my dad has an unholy obsession with Jimmy Buffett that I will never understand, Eli will never quite get his Dad's obsession with alchemy. Amanda is his yang.**

**Upsilon Four, I'm not sure what allusion you're talking about to be honest...don't you love it when you accidentally do something clever? And I understand the pain with initials as well, mine spell MPH. I get the miles per hour joke a lot. **

**haaschiibrownii, I feel the same way about the arm! For some reason, it's just not Ed without it...Whenever I read a fanfic where they talk about replacing the arm with magic I just start thinking "They better not..." And I don't really like the reusing the names of the dead either. I don't feel like it's something that Ed would do anyway, I figure he would want to remember the dead as they were and not "create a new one" so to speak because they're dead and death is final. I don't know, maybe that's crazy but that's how I reason it.**

**And last but not least, sumigoddess, I couldn't help myself I had to give him a trigger word. XD**

**Oh and for future reference: **

**All German when someone is around and can understand it will be written in italics, **

**If the people around the Germans-speakers cannot understand it it will be written in German. **

**As to where the translations will be I'm not sure...I have an internal war with myself about that. I hate the look of translations being in the middle of the chapter, but I hate it when I want to know what the characters are saying and I have to scroll down and find out and end up seeing stuff that happens later on in the chapter by accident. So if you have an opinion on that topic please let me know in a review, or PM or even smoke signals if that is your preferred method. Just let me know. :)  
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**NOW ON TO THE STORY!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Harry Potter, those belong to Hiromu Arakawa and JK Rowling respectively. SO DON'T YOU BE THINKIN OTHERWISE.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Unimpressive Burglars<strong>

It was an average summer day for Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There he was, just like every other summer previous for the last forty years, lost amongst stacks of paperwork and wishing that he could hire a secretary.

This year however, there was more weighing on his mind than approving new school rules and ignoring Filch's pleas for the right to use torture devices on the students. No, this year the upcoming war was taking up any of the free space and livelihood he had left in his overly cluttered mind.

His ancient face appeared to have grown even more so in the weeks since Voldemort's rebirth and his eyes, within the privacy of his own office, held none of the usual merry twinkle. They were the eyes of a man who was being pulled in all directions simultaneously and his body was starting to show the strain.

How dearly the man missed having a mentor on which he could rely. Harry and the members of the Order did not know how good they had it, being the one to take the orders. How easy it was to just listen and wait for some wise old man to tell you the right thing to do.

Dumbledore did not have this kind of luxury. At the end of the day, if anything at all went wrong, it would be on his own head. Dumbledore would not wish that upon anyone and he knew that Harry would know all too soon how that felt. He was growing old and the time to pass on the unfortunate torch was fast approaching. Harry, with his fame and history was the most obvious choice for the role of leader…poor boy.

The old man gave a start as one of the strange silver instruments on his desk began to whirr. Train of thought broken, Dumbledore reached out for the dust-coated device with a look of surprise. "He couldn't be…" he whispered in awe. It was almost too good to be true.

He adjusted his moon-shaped spectacles and took a closer look at the sensor he held cradled in his wizened hands. The quick once-over was enough to see that it was fully functional. Not that he had expected it to be broken anyhow; it had not been moved or even touched since the time it had been deposited on the desk going on four years ago. "Well, I'll be…Nicholas, you always knew when you were needed…" he chuckled.

Smiling his first real smile for the first time that week, the old wizard was on his feet. In his haste to be going, he left a note of explanation for Minerva that was so splotched with ink it was barely legible. But now was not the time for worrying about penmanship, he had places to be and people to be reunited with.

As the suffocating grips of apparition released him from its hold he found himself standing before a large, dark wooden door.

Upon the door was an unusual silver door knocker. It was in the shape of a cross with a serpent draped upon it, set beneath a winged cross. He knocked it twice and waited.

And then he waited some more.

After a second attempt garnered no more response than the first, he began to worry. Flamel's house was damn near impregnable when he had left it, a veritable fortress if you will, only Dumbledore and the Flamel's themselves knew how to enter the home. The idea that there would be burglars was laughable, but he knew that if the man had indeed returned as the sensor had indicated, then his house-elves would have also.

Gilly, house-elf pride in full force, would have been at the door on the first knock. Further doubt took root as he remembered that the sensor did not only react to Flamel. It was only a simple security device that responded in the event that someone of magical ability entered the home.

Looking back, it had been foolish of him to jump the gun and assume, but it was like he had told Harry on many occasions; despite the boy's resolution to believe otherwise, he was quite often wrong. Sadly, this seemed to be one of those times.

Knowing he could not leave the house to these criminals, he withdrew his wand. He knew he had best be on his guard; criminals they may be, but they had to be clever to have broken into the mansion. There weren't even any outward signs of a struggle to reveal how they had gotten in…they might actually be a challenge.

He pressed a hand to the handle, but swiftly withdrew it with a small hiss. The handle had burnt like the head of a branding iron. How could the wards still be intact? If they had not broken the wards, which admittedly he would have been alerted to (So many wrong assumptions today, perhaps he really was going senile…) then they would have had to enter from the inside.

With apparition wards on the home to guard against such a happening, this was becoming more suspicious by the minute.

"_Enough of this_" he thought, there was no more time for pondering the situation, he had to act. Who knew what kind of information, inventions, and precious magical artifacts they could be extracting at this very minute? Without further hesitation Dumbledore spoke the passphrase to allow his entry.

Very carefully he opened the door and was thankful when it did not creak. Casting a quick and silent _Homenum Revelio_, he stepped lightly in the direction of the library. The spell had informed him that there were two people residing in that room.

Before he could even reach it he heard voices. They did not seem to be aware of the rule that when one commits a burglary they should be as quiet as the night itself, for they were as loud as the rooster at dawn.

He did not have to get very close before he could soon make out the words, which seemed to be in German, oddly enough. Luckily for Dumbledore, he was fluent and had no trouble at all understanding them.

"_Where the hell are we?_" the voice was young but definitely male. How and why was someone so young in the house? Why did he not know where he was?

An older and much more sarcastic voice answered, "_Geez kid…You don't even recognize a library when you see one? Maybe I am bad at parenting…"_

"_I know it's a library!" _The child cried exasperated, "_This place is huge though…I thought we were in an abandoned house. Who would leave this much stuff behind?"_

The older man's voice dropped to a harsh whisper that Dumbledore had to strain to hear._ "It's not likely they did. Keep your voice down. We don't know who could be listening."_

There was a brief pause as the younger one seemed to digest this information before he spoke again. _"What should we do?" _he sounded nervous.

"_Well we sure as hell aren't going to sit here waiting for someone to find us. We'll have to find a way out, but it's imperative that you stay quiet, got it?"_ another pause as the man apparently waited for an affirmative response then he continued, _"I'm going to go first-no arguments. If I tell you to run, I expect you to do it. If that happens I'll catch up with you later."_

"_Dad-"_

"_Come on."_

Dumbledore swiftly backed away from the door and held out his wand. It had been just in time, as the door opened a crack. One lightly colored eye peered out and focused on the old wizard. Before Dumbledore could open his mouth to say that he meant no harm (after that conversation it seemed evident that, however it had happened, the two males had ended up here on accident, perhaps floo-related) the door slammed back shut.

There was a strange noise- clapping?- followed by a bright blue light that flashed through the cracks in the door-make that wall. For that was what it was now, the door had melted out of existence.

There was a shout from the younger from behind the newly created wall followed by hushing sounds. Why the boy was hushed, Dumbledore did not know, for afterwards a racket that rocked the foundation issued from the room. The wards went haywire.

The invisible dome that surrounded the house could now be seen through the home's large windows. It shined a bright electric blue and lightning arced across the surface. A loud yelp could be heard from within the room and Dumbledore decided enough was enough. He blasted the door open and was taken aback by what he saw.

One of the walls of the library had been blown to pieces, books thrown across the room and pages fluttering down from the ceiling. He heard a gasp near his feet. The boy he had heard appeared to have been tossed back by the explosion. He was lying on his back and staring dazedly back at the old man.

His large blue eyes were wide and scared and he mouthed wordlessly for a second before licking his lips and hoarsely speaking. _"D-Dad? Uh we got company…"_

Looking to the center of the wreckage, Dumbledore found a man standing right at the edge of the wards. The first thing he noticed about him was that the man had one arm poking through the light barrier.

The second thing he noticed was that said arm was metal.

Thirdly he noticed a pair of fierce eyes, unidentifiable in color due to the blue of the wards reflected in them, glaring right at him.

The man's long braided hair, also looking quite blue at the moment, swung over his shoulder as he turned, pulling his arm out of the shield. Strangely, he clapped as though in prayer before raising a hand over the metallic limb. As the hand grazed over it, a wickedly curved and very lethal looking blade emerged.

Grinning without any real humor the man ground out roughly_, "Step away from the boy, and no one will get hurt."_

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><p><strong>AN- So you may have noticed that this one is a bit shorter than the first, but I couldn't help but want to end there. The next one will be longer, promise. :D Review please!**_  
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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well this chapter was a bit later out than I intended...originally this was because I was busy, but then my father bought our family a home entertainment center. I kind of forgot that my laptop existed for about 3 days and spent a good portion of my free time planted in front of this beautiful example of man's ability to create. Time wasn't completely lost however, I did make excellent progress with Twilight Princess; I'm at the point where you fight Ganondorf. Then after I wrote the chapter, my computer broke (I MISS YOU LILITH!) and I had to wait a few weeks to get a new one, and then there was more time where I had to wait to get a word processor because my new baby (LOVE YOU ELIFIE!) is a mac and didn't come with one. So there is a great big laundry list of excuses but they are in fact, all true. I don't know why this suddenly became about me and my rambles but now it's going to go back to being about this story! **

**Okay so there were some questions, and I can't remember them all but I will answer the ones that I can remember without looking back to see what other questions were asked. **

**"WHY DO THEY SPEAK GERMAN?" -They speak German because if you look at the map of Amestris and its surrounding countries you may notice that they highly resemble Europe. Amestris, not only is located approximately where Germany and its circle of influence was during WWII, it is also obvious that Nazi Germany is what Amestris is based on. Aryan race, led by a Dictator in a militaristic nation goes on a genocidal rampage against a people defined by their religion. Sound familiar? Anyways it makes sense to me that an Amestrian language would likely be Germanic in nature. **

**"HOW DOES ED STILL HAVE HIS ALCHEMY?" -I can't tell you that yet. I'm attempting to do something called story-telling and it requires me to make you wait instead of just telling you. So sorry, but you'll find out later. XP  
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**Also I would like to apologize personally for my issues with commas. I actually do have a fear of them- In my list of fears it's just below cockroaches and speed bumps. Which are very high up on the list so that is serious business. Despite years of training, I still have no idea where they go and so I often just sprinkle them liberally over my word document and hope that some of them landed in the right place. If anyone would like to Beta for me, I would be very thankful and I'm sure many readers would be as well.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own FMA or HP, those belong to people far brighter and richer than I.  
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><p><strong>Chapter 3: The Man With Too Many Titles<strong>

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><p>The old man raised both eyebrows as well as both hands in response. <em>"Do not worry, I mean no ill to anyone in this room." <em>Further signaling his submission, he took a few steps back from the child.

Ed cocked a disbelieving brow, but seeing the display for what it was, he relaxed his stance a bit. _"If you don't mean us any harm, then why are you here? Do you live here?"_ he said as his golden orbs flicked to the giant hole he had created and back to the bearded man once more.

The man chuckled, his blue eyes twinkling madly. Was this man crazy?

"_No, this is not my home, it belongs to an old friend. The two of you set off alarms when you broke in and I came to inspect." _His grandfatherly persona faded a bit as he became more serious. "_I must say that was some impressive alchemy…I have not seen such skills for a while now."_

Ed was feeling uneasy. This man was obviously powerful and intelligent; a dangerous combination, Ed would know. He ignored the compliment and demanded, _"Who exactly are you?"_

"_Albus Dumbledore Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, at your service."_ He bowed politely and waited for Ed to respond to the unspoken cue.

"_Edward Elric, King of Murphy's Law."_ he bit out grudgingly. _"This is Prince Eli." _He added throwing a hand in the direction of his son. The boy had finally returned to his feet and was glaring sullenly at his father.

The man with too many titles smiled amusedly in the spiraling silence and broke it with a clap that made the two blondes stare. _"So, I suppose now that introductions are out of the way it's time to get down to business!"_ he nodded briskly and waved a stick. Three of the chairs that had survived the explosion floated over and he seated himself upon the tallest.

Ed and Eli gaped like goldfish. Had this crazy old coot just moved those chairs without even touching them? It defied every law in existence and yet they had just seen it with their own eyes; there was only one thing that could bypass the laws of equivalence.

The old codger narrowed his eyes, as he appeared to have understood something. _"The two of you have never experienced magic before, have you?" _The silence continued as one word pervaded the Elric's minds; _magic_?

"_Please take a seat,"_ he gestured towards the empty chairs placed opposite him. _"I assure you I was being most truthful when I told you I meant you no harm."_

Speechlessness on a level that the Elric's had never before experienced spiraled on as they took their seats. Ed took notice that the arrangement of the chairs was such that it put this Dumbledore in a position of power and Ed didn't like it. It reminded him far too much of that bastard Mustang back in the time he had served under him. Automatically getting fired up just from the memories of the former Colonel, Ed's recent speech impairment was cured.

He stood up, kicking his chair down as he went. _"Magic, is that what you're calling that? Look, you can't fool me you old man, I know you've got a Philosopher's Stone amplifying your alchemy so just cut the shit!" _he shouted, crossing his arms. _"Hell, you've probably got more than just one, if you're using them to transport people back to this dump…"_

"_Philosopher's Stone…?"_ the man said blankly_, "I'm afraid you must be mistaken, there is only one person in the world currently in possession of a Philosopher's Stone, and that is its creator Nicholas Flamel."_

Nicholas Flamel? _The_ Nicholas Flamel? The man was Ed's hero!

The old man's deeply wrinkled forehead furrowed as its owner thought furiously. _"In fact he's not even_…" the man's eyes widened with realization. _"You're from _there_ aren't you? _Amestris_."_

Ed and Eli nodded. _"So I assume we're no longer in Amestris, then."_ The older remarked casually. On the inside, things weren't so calm. '_Great,'_ Ed thought _'Just _fucking_ great.'_

"_You would be correct; you are currently in Rutland, England." _

"_Eeng-land? I've never even heard of it!" _Ed objected.

Dumbledore strode over to a shelf and quickly located an atlas. Laying it flat on a recently repaired table, he pointed to a small island. "_This is England."_ He pointed again to the center of the small landmass and said _"We are right around here."_

Ed sighed impatiently, this wasn't making any sense, this map wasn't even correct, the names were all wrong! Where was Amestris, Creta, Drachma, Aerugo? Where was Xing? In their place were dozens of smaller countries with incomprehensible names.

"_As I am sure you've noticed, Amestris is not on this map. That is because in this world Amestris does not _exist_." _

There was a pause as Dumbledore let his words sink in. "_What do you mean '_this world?_'"_

"_I am afraid Mr. Elric, that if you are indeed from Amestris, then you and your son are trapped in another dimension_."

Situations like this only happened to him, Ed was sure of it.

Another dimension? This was absolutely bat-shit crazy. How could he be in another dimension!

Ed stomped over to a pile of books and kicked them as hard as his metal leg could manage. Huffing angrily, he plopped down Indian style in the middle of the mess of shredded spines to think.

Looking back on what had happened, that whiteness they had experienced had to have been the activation of the gate- allowing them to pass through to this stupid place…the payment would obviously be the souls trapped in the stone.

Thinking logically, their most obvious route to returning home would be by using the stone once more. The only problem was he had no idea how the stone had transported them there in the first place and even if he was able to figure that out, the stone likely didn't have enough power to send them back.

It was a testament to just how much he did not want to be in a strange new dimension that he had yet to question the morality of using the stone on purpose.

"_How do you know so much about Amestris?" _he asked with a sigh.

Dumbledore gave a sympathetic smile and said,_ "The owner of this house was born there. Three years ago he and his wife returned there to live out the rest of their lives. You were saying earlier that you arrived here via Philosopher's Stone? I believe that stone may have belonged to him. I find it likely that he used the stone to go back and had kept it in the event that they wished to return."_

Ed laughed sourly _"They must have decided to stay; we found it washed up in a river. Maybe they should have but a warning label on it."_

Dumbledore's smile took a wry twist, "Perhaps they should have. _Where is the stone now?"_ he asked.

Eli spoke up for the first time since Dumbledore's arrival and as a result his voice was a little hoarse, though that could also have been from shock. "_We left it in the hallway, we didn't want to touch it again and risk being transported somewhere else."_

The group took a field trip back to the entrance hall where a very cracked red stone lay abandoned in the corner by the door.

Dumbledore picked it up carefully and held it up to the light now emanating from his wand. He hummed to himself a bit as he examined the stone, then he gave his prognosis._ "This is indeed the Philosopher's Stone. I was hoping that the Port-key would still be viable but it appears the stone is no longer functional."_

Indeed, the stone that Dumbledore held in his palm was disintegrating before their eyes.

Turning away from the sight with a sinking heart he latched onto this new term._"Port-key?"_ he asked.

"_A magical mode of transportation." _explained the old man_. "It seems that Nicholas used the power of the stone to create a port-key capable of traversing worlds. Something quite impressive to be sure, but as we are no longer in possession of a stone, such a thing is an impossibility."_

"_In other words, we're gonna have to find alternative means back." _drawled Ed.

"_Yes I daresay you will."_ The old man's stupid eyes were doing that weird twinkling thing again.

"_Got any bright ideas?"_

"_Not so much, no. However, this circumstance is not only unfortunate for you, but it also means that one of my dearest friends may be unable to return to this world." _He adjusted his spectacles and looked upon Ed gravely. "_I understand that we do not know each other that well, but I must ask that you consider allowing me to join in your research. I have quite a bit of knowledge when it comes to the Philosopher's Stone and I would be more than willing to set you two up with food and lodging for the duration of your stay."_

The automatic "No." was nearly out of his mouth when he realized his situation. He was in a strange land with who knew what dangers in store and he had no idea how to get back. Had he been on his own it would have been all too easy to tell the man to shove off, and stubbornly work out his own way home. But he wasn't, he had a son to think about. Besides, when it came down to it, it was an equivalent exchange; knowledge for shelter.

So to the shock of even Ed himself, he said, _"I think I'll be taking you up on that offer."_

Eli's head whipped around so quickly Ed thought it a wonder the boy had not snapped his neck.

"_Wonderful!" _exclaimed Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling full blast. "_Now that that is all squared away, I'll just reset the wards and we'll be off!"_

He raised the stick once more and uttered a few words in Latin, which Ed could understand thanks to his experiences with the Truth. He brought the wand down with a swish and the blue bubble that had surrounded the house flickered before fading completely.

Ed grumbled to himself, his golden eyes flashing. _"Has to have a stone hidden somewhere…maybe it's inside that stupid stick?"_

"_Are you referring to my wand? It actually contains the tail hair of a thestral, which while unusual is still not as unusual as it would be to have a Philosopher's Stone inside it…It would be interesting however. Perhaps this would be something to research..." _

A brisk cough broke into the man's rambles and he met eyes with a glaring Ed.

"_Ah yes, anywho I do believe that it is time to take our leave! If the two of you could each grasp one of my arms, we'll be on our way!"_

"_Hold your-"_

"_Arm, yes. It may sound odd, but it is very much necessary."_

The blondes obliged, albeit reluctantly and with much in the way of odd looks. Much too soon for the Ed's liking they were spinning through space all over again.

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><p><strong>AN: Someone said they hated cliffies...sorry about that, but I seem to have a thing for them. It's not really about building the suspense or whatever it just seems like the natural place to end. So anyways, please review and if you would like to help me out with my grammar, send me a PM and we'll sort things out. :)**

**NEW A/N: OMG OMG OMG I WAS NOMINATED FOR THE GOLDWORTH AWARDS! I JUST FOUND OUT. AHHH I'M SO EXCITED! :D I feel super special now. I kind of don't even care if I win, I'm just excited I was even nominated... Okay this chapter has wayyy too much in the way of author's notes. I'ma stop now, promise.  
><strong>


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